Inside my Head
by The Childlike Empress
Summary: It's more on Sirius in Azkaban, another song fic


Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal

Disclaimer: J.K Rowling owns the characters and the setting and Linkin Park own the song. Damn them! Wish I had the talent to write the way they both did!

A/N For all of you who read my song fic, I'm going insane, and reviewed, you rule. Some of you told me to write more, so here's another part. This is to the song Crawling, also by Linkin Park. It's continuing the story of Sirius in Azkaban.__

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_Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal_

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Sirius gripped his head. "Get out, get out, get out, get out! I won't stand this anymore. I'm not letting those Dementors take me. I'm sane and I'm innocent. I think it's time for Padfoot to make an appearance." He changed into the large black dog.__

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_Fear inside my bones, confusing what is real_

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'I'm never going to get out of here am I? I'm never going to see the blue sky, or the green grass, or even breathe fresh air again. I'm going to die in this place. I can't let that happen. I can't let Peter get away with what he did! He has to pay for what he did. He has to pay.' The dog paced backwards and forwards in the cell.__

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_There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface, consuming, confusing_

_This lack of self control I fear is never ending, controlling, I can't seem_

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'At least I have this power. They couldn't take that away from me. I'm not going to give in. I might be stuck in this cell, and I can't do anything right now, but I will get revenge. I'll show Peter Pettigrew exactly what traitorous scum like him deserves!'__

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_To find myself again, my walls are closing in_

_I've got a sense of confidence, I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take_

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The dog looked up at the walls of the cell. 'Hey this is really small when I'm a dog. It's almost like the walls have shrunk.... No the walls are not shrinking. The walls are not shrinking. It's ok. You just got bigger. Oh no. The walls are shrinking. Let me out, let me out, let me out.' He changed back into a man and collapsed onto the tiny bed.__

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_I've felt this way before, so insecure_

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"God I have to stop _doing that," Sirius exclaimed. "I'm going scare myself to death one day. The walls aren't going to shrink Sirius. This place is really taking its toll on me. I have to just close my eyes when I change that's all. Then I won't be able to see the walls."___

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_Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal_

_Fear inside my bones, confusing what is real_

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"Everything is fine. I can take this. Remember what you were saying last night. There are only two things I have to think about. I'm innocent and the guy who put me here is at Hogwarts. All I've got to do is go to Hogwarts and find that _rat. He's a rat in more than one way. DIRTY STINKING SCUM." He yelled, and kicked the door.___

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_This confidence in me has pulled itself upon me, distracting, reacting. Against my will I stand beside my own reflection_

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"Take a good look at yourself Sirius. That's it. Take a good long look. You're acting like the rest of the filth in here and you don't want to do that do you. You have to stop yelling like that. You are NOT insane, you are innocent and you'll get your revenge."

He took a deep breath and sat back down on the bed. __

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_It's haunting, how I can't seem_

_To find myself again, my walls are closing in_

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'It's getting harder to change back into a person,' Sirius realized. 'I really have to concentrate. On NO. God I'd better not get stuck like that. I have to get out of here before something even worse happens.'__

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_I've got a sense of confidence, I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take. I've felt this way before, so insecure_

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Sirius stood up and looked down at himself. "Man I'm thin now. Maybe I could fit through the bars." He walked over and tried sticking his head out the cell door.

"IDIOT!" He realized, and pulled his head back in. "Are the Dementors just going to sit there and let you escape hmm? God I'm DUMB sometimes."__

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_Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal_

_Fear inside my bones, confusing what is real_

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"Hey they'll bring me food soon. I know what I'll do. I'll change into a dog and I can get out of the door. I'm so thin now they won't notice. I'll escape. I'll be free. YES! I'm A GENIUS!" He yelled, the clapped a hand over his mouth. 'Quiet you git,' He thought. 'They'll hear you.'__

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_Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal_

_Fear inside my bones, confusing what is real_

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He sat at the foot of the bed, in his dog form. He was waiting for the Dementors to come and bring him his food so he could get out the door. The dog was panting, and looked as though it had some sort of grin on its face.__

'God I hope I can stop blaming myself for what happened. It wasn't me. It wasn't me. It was Peter. I made the biggest mistake of my life telling James and Lily to change secret keepers, but that doesn't mean I killed them. It doesn't mean I killed all those Muggles either. I'm innocent and I'm going to show Peter Pettigrew exactly how angry his old friend _Padfoot can really get.___

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_There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface, consuming, confusing_

_Confusing what is real_

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The Dementors opened the door. The dog leaped at the opening and ran through it. The Dementors were confused. They couldn't understand. They didn't know he was a dog. He was free.

'I'm FREE!' Sirius yelled inside his head. He could feel the power in the dog's legs as it swam through the water. 'I'm finally free.'__

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_This lack of self control I fear is never ending, controlling_

_Confusing what is real_

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'Hey, hey! Sirius calm down! Get a bit of self-control. Swim that way you DOPE. Over there. Hey. Come on. That way. It great, I'm free. I've wanted this for 12 years but that doesn't mean I should be swimming the wrong way. There we go.'

He let out a bark, a quiet one. There was time for celebrating later. Right down he had to get down to the task ahead of him.

'Keep your eyes on the prize Sirius. Think about what's ahead of you. Don't get confused.'

The dog swam on, coming closer and closer to the shore. 


End file.
